myblimpisbigger | Three: In Which Klaus Loses Yet Another Shred of Dignity to Mayfield

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Three: In Which Klaus Loses Yet Another Shred of Dignity to Mayfield

[He didn't want to do it. He's been putting it off for weeks. But Baron Wulfenbach, ruler of Europa, needs... help. It's almost too ghastly to think of! You see, that classy giant clank he got back from the post office all that time ago? It's still just as broken as it was before he was taken to Mayfield. He's been slowly trying to repair it with the few appropriate tools he could find at the hardware store, but he hasn't gotten anywhere and it's been a few weeks now. Thanks for taking his Spark, Mayfield, really.]

Is anyone in this town particularly gifted with complex and delicate machinery? I have a project that I must complete as soon as possible, and any and all help would be appreciated.

[Why does he need to fix it again? Oh, yes. Just in case.]

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What sort of complex and delicate machinery? Are you speaking of clockworks and suchlike?

A fair bit of it is clockwork, yes, although the main problem is with the engine and the pieces that were previously blown off. Most of the parts can be replicated or done away with, I believe, but they still need to be retooled and reconnected.

[He sounds somewhat frustrated.]

Forgive me for the lack of detail. I'm not quite up to my usual standard currently.

[She's quiet for a moment, and then she speaks, hope apparent in her voice.]

Are you...talking about a -clank-?

[Oh. My god.]

[SHE SPEAKS HIS LANGUAGE OH MY GOD.]

Yes! Yes, I am. You'll forgive me for not clarifying sooner; I had up until now thought that myself and my 'wife' were the only residents from my particular reality.

[See what this is? This is the closest he can get to joy. BE AMAZED.]

[Theta is obviously full of glee, though she does keep herself somewhat contained.]

Someone who has a clank from home... Yes, I think we must be from either the same reality, or at least realities closely similar. ...Where are you from? As in...what part of the world? You don't sound English...

And what sort of a clank is it? I generally deal with smaller clockworks, but I'm -capable- of working on clanks, especially if I can use any extraneous pieces to build myself a few assistants. That would make things go faster.

So you can't tell me more about the nature of the proble---OH! I think I know what's happened. Yes, I lost my abilities for some time, but I'm back at full power now. I'll handle everything until your powers are returned to you..?

[He's found a Spark. He's found a Spark who is regrettably English, but he can deal with that, because she's willing to act as minion or at least partner and help him repair things and this is the BEST DAY EVER.]

I am Baron Klaus Wulfenbach. If we are indeed from the same reality then you will know who I am. If not, I am from Europa, which is near enough to England to be getting on with.

I think, however, that you should probably come to assess the situation yourself; with your Spark returned to you, you will probably be much better at spotting the trouble than I.

Europa? That sounds a bit like Europe, at any rate. Close enough I suppose, I would guess similar realities but not the -same-. Your name is unfamiliar to me, and I suppose the name Elizabe-theta Buckley means nothing to you, either?

It doesn't matter, though. Clanks I understand. Clanks I can repair. I'm sure we can swap stories of our homelands when I am there and looking at this clank of yours. Where is your assigned 'home'? I can come directly.

[Closer to Germany, but whatever. He can dig that.]

Unfortunately, no. We must be very closely overlapped, however, for you to use the same vocabulary and be aware of the same practices as I am. If I only had my Spark proper, I could analyze it further... but later. I shall have to remember.

My residence is at 729 Anderson Lane. I will be waiting. Believe me, it will be very difficult to miss.

[Oh, Theta is =hurrying= over, just as fast as she can go on crutches and a knee brace. She'll need to wait till she has her -own- brace on before she can do any real work, but she can at least have a look at the thing! She knocks sharply on the door and waits to be let in, grinning brightly and all but bouncing with excitement.]

[Klaus luckily beats Drone!DuPree to the door, as he's been waiting for Theta. It's easy enough to tell that she's who he's waiting for; she got a sort of Sparky air about her. It's easy to spot.]

Excellent. It is right out front; I am sure that you noticed.

[Yep, there it is, in all it's just-got-totaled-in-battle glory. You've got your work cut out for you, Theta.]

I did indeed. Though I thought it prudent to introduce myself properly. Elizabe-theta Buckley, at your service. What -can- you tell me about this clank of yours? Obviously as form follows function I can make a few educated guesses--more educated than most--but any little details you can manage would make the job faster.

[He leads her over to it, talking as he goes.]

As clanks go, it isn't particularly complex. I created it while incapacitated at the Hospital, in order to be up and moving much sooner than I would have normally. The controls themselves respond to the movements of the driver's hands and feet; quite sensitive, as I have a tendency towards the extreme whenever I let my guard down enough to incur injury. But that hardly matters. The main point is that the secondary controls and the main body have been nearly destroyed, as you can see. I care very little for the cosmetic appeal, but I need it up and running. Without my Spark, I shall have to rely on more base modes of security.

A transport clank? Yes yes, I can refit one of those easily... [Her eyes all but -sparkle- as she looks it over, and she considers how to go about doing this.]

Repairing the body should be fairly simple, as long as I can pull apart a few of these automobiles. The rest...I'm sure I'll manage to figure it out... [She looks up at it, already studying how the parts fit together.]

[The Baron is just going to watch like the Spark enthusiast he is. It's very different watching a Spark at work when you yourself are not a Spark, he's come to realize. It's very strange. He isn't sure that he likes it, but it's invaluable research.]

I managed to procure some tools, though none of them are up to the standard of what I would normally be using. You are free to appropriate them for your own use, should you feel the need.

[Theta isn't going to be able to work on it today, but she nods cheerily and smiles for him before returning her eyes to the machine.]

I'm just getting an overview of it...I've just received my own knee brace from home, I won't be able to do any truly involved work until I can be certain a false move won't sever my leg. But...

[Those springs...that power... Such craftsmanship... She has to get her hands in it.]

[Ah, yes, he'd noticed that brace. He also notices the way she's eyeing up that clank, but... well. If she's a Spark, that's normal.

Of course, he'd still like to get it running as soon as possible, but it is no longer his decision to make. Wow, that's weird.]

Of course. Unfortunately the plans from when I built it were not included when it was returned to me, so I suppose the longer you take to appraise it the better the job you will do.

[She isn't shouting or speaking in that Madness Voice. Perhaps that's unique to Europa's Sparks? No, that can't be it... he's known English Sparks before, and they follow the same sort of pattern. But she must be one, or else she wouldn't be bothering, so...

Oh lord. What would she be capable of if she were in the Madness Place?]

Yes. Haste only makes waste. I prefer to be meticulous in my methods and make no errors.

[She speaks like she's in a stage drama, but there's no hintings at madness, or even mania or frenzy. She is dramatic, but calm and methodical.]

I've seen the aftermath of a clank explosion first hand. I will not be one to build such an exploding death trap with my own hands. Even simple clockworks can do horrific damage... [Her tone is pensive there, and she had a leg brace even back home. 1+1=?]

Maybe if I just have a look at some of the access panels and what's behind the ones I can get to easily....

[Oh, oh, he knows this one! 1 + 1 = IMPLICATIONS.]

By all means; you really cannot do much more damage to it than has already been done.

[No, really. It's totaled.]

[She gets into the clank and looks at the insides, but she doesn't tinker with anything, instead just taking stock of it and trying to remember what all is available. After several minutes, she steps back and nods quietly.]

I'll...come another time to do some actual work on it. I think it would be better if I did some planning before I get into it.

I like to think I have a fair amount of skill in that general area.

Oh? And what would your reasoning for that be?

[CREDENTIALS. LIST THEM. Nobody touches his clank without him being sure they won't just screw it up worse.]

Well just for a start I did spend most of my adult life helping with maintenance and design on a tunneling castle. I don't have magic inventing powers like some of the people around here but I know my way around a laboratory. I've got a pile of plans for my own inventions from back home that I plan to recreate around here if I can just get some specialized parts, if you want to take a look at those.

A tunneling castle.

[It sounds like Castle Heterodyne but even worse!]

Hmph. Magic is merely nothing but science that has yet to be analyzed. I would be interested in seeing your plans at some point... provided you assist me with a machine of my own.

Magic is something TO be analyzed. It's a very specific force on my world that I've only recently been able to study.

But I digress. What machine is this?

[Since she can't tell over the phone that you are a HORRIBLE STINK-MONKEY, Tak deigns to speak with you]

What is this "project" of yours?

[Hey, hey now. He's not a Horrible Stink-Monkey. He's several stuck together through the magic of SCIENCE.]

A transport clank of mine was returned to me, badly damaged. I need to get it up and running as soon as possible.

I have never heard of a 'clank.' I require an explanation.

A clank is a machine created to serve a specific function, in the broadest sense of the word. I take it they do not exist in your world?

We have machines and robots and the like, but none of them are called clanks. It appears to be slang unique to your world.

I am fantastic with complex and delicate things.

[MUKURO YOU DO NOT COUNT GO AWAY JEEZ. He's got to remember to filter you out of everything forever.]

You were not included in the invitation. I should have specified.

[MWAHAHAAHAA THAT WON'T STOP HIM]

That's rather cruel isn't it? Why can't we just let it be in the past? I haven't bad touched any girls lately.

Lately. You say that as though it is a great accomplishment. I suppose, for you, it is.

[ALL MUKUROS GO HOME]

I could tomorrow. I think I'll stop by where Garnet lives and touch a breast.

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Three: In Which Klaus Loses Yet Another Shred of Dignity to Mayfield

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